Alcohol Quotes Proverbial Sayings

When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!
Homer Simpson

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
Winston Churchill

To alcohol! The cause of and solution to all of life's problems!
Homer Simpson

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.
Hunter S. Thompson

One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.
Lady Nancy Astor

Types Of Friendship
Human Life
Gratefulness Quotes
Technical Quotes

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
Alex Levine

Two great European narcotics, alcohol and Christianity.
Friedrich Nietzsche

Alcohol is a very necessary article ... It makes life bearable to millions of people who could not endure their existence if they were quite sober. It enables Parliament to do things at eleven at night that no sane person would do at eleven in the morning.
George Bernard Shaw

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
Winston Churchill
Alcoholism is the only disease that you can get yelled at for having.
Mitch Hedberg

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
Dean Martin

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Henny Youngman

My friends are the best friends - loyal, willing and able.
Now let's get to drinking! All glasses off the table!

A toast to your coffin. May it be made of 100 year old oak. And may we plant the tree together, tomorrow.

Before you call for 'one for the road' - be sure you know the road!

The Devil invented Scotch whiskey to make the Irish poor.

I drink to your health when I'm with you. I drink to your health when I'm alone. I drink to your health so often. I'm starting to worry about my own.

In Heaven there's no beer.
That's why we drink it here.

There are many good reasons for drinking.
One has just entered my head.
If a man doesn't drink when he's living.
How the hell can he drink when he's dead?

For every wound a balm.
For every sorrow a cheer.
For every storm a calm.
For every thirst a beer.

Here's to being single - drinking doubles - and seeing triple!
Daylight comes through the drunkard’s roof the fastest.

Here's to a long life and a merry one.
A quick death and an easy one.
A pretty girl and an honest one.
A cold pint - and another one!

May you fly straight to heaven - but if you go to Hades - may Lethe run with Guinness!