When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, “Did you sleep good?” I said “No, I made a few mistakes.”
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Bill Gates
Just in terms of allocation of time resources, religion is not very efficient. There’s a lot more I could be doing on a Sunday morning.
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Henry David Thoreau
I have a great deal of company in the house, especially in the morning when nobody calls.
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Winston Churchill
I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
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Robert Frost
The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.
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William Feather
Early morning cheerfulness can be extremely obnoxious.
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Steven Wright
I got up one morning and couldn’t find my socks, so I called Information. She said, “Hello, Information.” I said, “I can’t find my socks.” She said, “They’re behind the couch.” And they were!
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Bob Dole
You feel a little older in the morning. By noon I feel about 55.
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Dale Earnhardt
I woke up this morning, and I still don’t believe I won the Daytona 500.
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Henry David Thoreau
There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.
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Groucho Marx
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I’ll never know.
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Benjamin Franklin
I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not on it, I get up.
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Will Rogers
The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, “How is the president?”
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Mitch Hedberg
I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.
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